Snippets

My best friend dedicated this song to me on his blog.
Made my day.
Thanks alot. (:

**

IF WE HOLD ON TOGETHER

Don’t lose your way
With each passing day
You’ve come so far
Don’t throw it away
Live believing
Dreams are for weaving
Wonders are waiting to start
Live your story
Faith, hope & glory
Hold to the truth in your heart

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
Where clouds roll by
For you and I

Souls in the wind
Must learn how to bend
Seek out a star
Hold on to the end
Valley, mountain
There is a fountain
Washes our tears all away
Words are swaying
Someone is praying
Please let us come home to stay

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
Where clouds roll by
For you and I

When we are out there in the dark
We’ll dream about the sun
In the dark we’ll feel the light
Warm our hearts, everyone

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
As high as souls can fly
The clouds roll by
For you and I

**

我会加油的！

Why don’t they continue mass producing this instead of Kinder Joy?

My heart’s racing like crazy.
I don’t know what’s there to be stressed about at this moment, except for my studies. 30% is no joke. It determines whether or not I can do my double or transfer. More importantly, it determines if I’ll feel hopeful about what I’m studying. After yesterday’s Sociology paper, I can’t help feeling demoralised. And I know the A Nimrods won’t understand, at all. At least, I don’t think anyone’s free to try now.

I’m scared of feeling THAT feeling.
THAT feeling I felt in NJ.
It’s beyond scary. It’s beyond all the ghosts and Halloween and 7th month’s prayers. It crumples me from within, and I need to have a lot of self-control to move on.

I need to keep breathing.
I need to slow my racing heart down.
I need a breather from school.
I want to do so much more.

I shall look forward to the Twilight Saga Movie Marathon that Dear has booked tickets for.
I shall look forward to Taiwan, 051209.
I shall look forward to Christmas & the songs of love.

Jiayou Zhanglilin.
You need to keep motivating yourself.

Lastly,
Thank you Bonitochico, for keeping me sane and alive throughout these dreadful times. (:

CT – Check.
LTB – Check.
TWC – Check.
SSRM – Check.
US – Check.

Would you believe me if I said I had put in all my effort for these mods?
Can I complain and whine because I don’t seem to be getting deserving grades?
Sure, grades aren’t everything. But let’s be realistic, it’s almost everything. If it’s not, I wouldn’t be here.

Forget it. I realised it’s no use whining here. No one really understands. I don’t understand the whole thing too. I just want to sit right outside Subway and cry now, can? I don’t f-ing care if it solves my problems right now. I don’t f-ing care if the 4 SAJC students sitting at the next bench stare at me every 15 seconds.

Stop telling me not to be stressed.
I think stress isn’t the problem.
Bad luck is.
Or maybe it’s me.

Thank goodness I didn’t draw my face today. Would have smudged all the Maybelline.

I want to finish up my RM Research Proposal now.
I want to START studying like what others are doing.
I don’t want to waste my dad’s $4750.
I need to get SOMEWHERE.

Cheer me up.

Have you ever been in a situation whereby no matter what you say, you will always be wrong?

So she’s gone, her body and whatever that’s tangible of hers that we can see.

I feel surprising calm, although there were many moments I felt so choked that I couldn’t even call out to her even when told to do so as part of the rituals. Seeing her face was the first – on Saturday morning before they placed her in the coffin. She looked like she had suffered, though we were told that she spent many good moments with her children before leaving peacefully. Those good moments made her leaving so sudden. The news hit us right in the face, and we didn’t know how to react at all. She looked like one of those times she was sleeping, except that she had always slept with her eyelids partially close.

I don’t know if I should say this, but during each ritual, I can’t help thinking if she would receive all the paper money, the huge paper house, the big paper car, loud music, Taoist chants etc. I don’t know if I had helped in making it easier for her to cross over. I hope it did. Cause otherwise, all the kneeling and 25 garbage bags worth of paper money and close to $20k spent wouldn’t be justified. The 10 flower wreaths and 5 quilt blankets would then be for show. x(

The funeral procession was scarily long. The band had at least 25 people. The aunties carrying flower baskets were enough to form a football team. And family members following behind the coffin van had around 25 people. Relatives form about 25 or so. Imagine how elaborate it was. Took up the entire bus lane! =X We walked from my house to the road between Flame Tree Park & Thomson View Condos. That’s like 3 bus stops worth of distance. Then we boarded a bus which brought us to Mandai.

That was the place I started tearing. It was heart-wrenching to watch the coffin travel forward towards the incinerator while relatives cried out loud and my cousin next to me sobbed while calling her. She used to bring me to playschool & kindergarten, let me bully her in helping me with my colouring assignments, feed me porridge, bathe me, and doing everything my mother would have done if she weren’t working. She prolly did more for my elder brothers. Cause when they were kids, she was younger and stronger. But she stopped doing those things, for some weird reason I can’t decide on. And we all drifted apart.

I don’t know if it’s appropriate to feel disgusted by some visitors at the wake. People who dabao-ed 1 whole table of 4-5 untouched dishes home (even brought their own plastic bags wtf!), before the immediate family members had time to eat. So after all the kneeling and walking barefooted (with socks) and bowing and what not, we were starving. And there she is packing food home. Wtf. It’s a funeral, not a potluck party. Can someone please give her 2 tight slaps to remind her? OH, and in order to hitch a free ride home, she was so pushy and irritating that all of us got so pissed with her. You got a freaking direct bus from here and it’s barely midnight. Do you even understand the meaning of ZI DONG? *rolls eyes*

Someone even damaged the sink in my brand new toilet downstairs. Dad’s feeling the pinch, on top of the $20k. I wonder if it’s evenly split this time. I hate it every time my dad pays more than others although he shares equal/less responsibilities. It’s just blardy unfair. What’s the point of installing the portable toilet that costs $300 a day when everyone rather walks up the slope to pee/shit/bathe at my house? Pointless. There’s a huge drain there, go relieve yourself if it’s that urgent.

Enough of disgusting relatives. There were pretty nice ones too. Like the uncle who came all the way down just to take the midnight shift on the first night, together with Erge and I. He told us interesting stories, kept us awake throughout (hRmmm) the night, and made sure my parents came back before leaving us there in the morning.

Meanwhile, I had to cancel 4 meetings and 3 classes over the past 4 days. So screwed. I don’t know how’s my CT project going. I don’t know how’s LTB’s CSP oral presentation like. I don’t know wth is going on with my TWC group project either. As for lessons, ?!?!??!. Sigh. Haven got much updates from anyone actually. I hope everyone understands. I’m not the type who MIAs for fun okay. Though it really feels like I had just disappeared off the surface of Earth for 4 decades and had returned feeling so disorientated. Nevertheless, thank you Jess for your help in bidding. (:

Lastly, thank you Dear, Jiahao4, Gabriel and Xiang for coming to visit. Cheered me up & I appreciated it loads x 10000000. Choir peeps are just ultra nice peeps. I don’t care if I’m generalising. x)

I’m so exhaused.
I feel eerily empty.
I feel like not thinking about school at all,  but I can’t.

get up, zhanglilin.

when a wave can’t be used at this farewell.

CHECKLIST FOR WEEK 10/11:

LTB Quiz: DONE
RM Lit Review: DONE
LTB Individual Learning Journal: DONE
Sociology Journal Article Presentation: DONE
TWC Individual Presentation: DONE

Finally got time for a short break!
(before I start on my MAGC T-shirt design.)

Been wanting to upload photos since forever. And so, after school today, I came home and decided that it’s time to get a new Photobucket account AGAIN. Why again? Cause I remember having 2 photobucket accounts but I can’t seem to remember the username, let alone the password. -.- Please remind me that my photobucket account is my blogname. So that I can click on “forget my password” when the day comes and have them send a new one to me. Thank you very much. -.-

hRmm. This is me being extremely happy and hyper next to Mr Cheong while he was driving. I toned down almost immediately after the driver indirectly told me I was a distraction. Oh wells. =X

This is a little surprise for our dear friend. Ask me for more pics! (:

Here’s a photo of Annie Ann and Money Mun after 10 years of not meeting up. Went back to visit NJChoir that day and had supper together with the seniors near NJ. (: I have another shot that’s less blurred but this shot has him alot happier and that’s why I chose it instead of the other one.

PHOTOBOOTH MANIA!

Jess Tongxue and I, while mugging some time back at SMU’s TCC.
Notice the difference in fringe length. =X

My favourite Photobooth shots taken not long ago. x)

NEXT UP, online purchases!

1. Casual Knit Dress in Blue from Bonitochico!

It looks short cause I was wearing a belt & folded some cloth in.

2. Nautical Throwover in Pink/Grey from Bonitochico!
I love the one in Milky Blue more but somehow I couldn’t find the photo I took in it =X

3. Chiffon Frock (Reilly in White) from Ohvola!

Decided to sell it cause I don’t really like the material. Still prefer cotton. x(

4. Guess-inspired Denim Frock from Bonitochico!

Been wanting this piece since I saw it at Guess retail outlets. But the 3-digit price tag was depressing. And when I saw it on BC I knew I had to get it. Commented 40 mins after launch but couldn’t get it. Took great pains to camp on Flowerpod forums to get an invoice from another podder. Paid on Sunday 8pm. Received on Tuesday evening. Woooosah. Viola is efficient. PRETTY! I heart the shoelace details with slight floral prints behind. And the material is superb. It looks slightly long for me but I actually think it’s okay. Adjustable straps and lace behind ROCKS. 100% free size yo. (:

5. Serena Dress in White from Agneselle!
Just traded it with my BC Angel Sleeved Laced Frock today. Although I still think that BC loots are worth more than those of other blogshops, I think the trade was worthwhile cause the AE dress suits me more. This particular BC one was bought on impulse and wasn’t really my style. =X Nevertheless, this AE dress is nice! Perfect fit for my size. Luan, you’re right mans. Hahah and the material is stretchy and comfy. Good trade! (:

6. Random halter from mywardrobe.lj + FBT.
(lol is there really such a blogshop?!)

Aiyo. Can’t stand my fringe already. The last time I cut it was days before Dear’s 21st. =X Time to make a trip down to Kelutlut. (:

Okay, break time over!
Time to churn out designs! XD

These are the only pictures I have of Darling Mr Cheong looking decent.

For once, the hair isn’t cock. LOL.
The side view looks weird in the photos, but the front view (which I failed to capture using my iPhone) was really nice!!
Dr. Thomas behind provides a good contrast! HAHAHA!

Can someone teach my boyfriend how to style his hair so that he looks like that every day?

Damn it, I can’t believe I didn’t force him to take a picture with me in that hair. Sigh, it was a mad rush before NJChorale’s concert at YMS that day. x(

Miss you Dear.
<33